Friendship is considered as a relationship of affection between two or more people. It is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than association.
We need to choose our friends, choose the people that can help us grow. You don’t have to be a child, young or in high school to be betrayed, back-stabbed, or annoyed by someone who could be classified as a bad friend. It is sad but true. Friends who we could term as bad friends can drain your time, energy, and even your bank account. Who are these that can be classified as bad friends, and how do you spot them? Or, more importantly, how do you get rid of them? Here’s my list of the possible bad friends we may encounter, and tips on how to deal with them;
The Frenemy - He/She acts like your friend, but are they really one? When he/she pays you a compliment, there’s always a sly comment along with it. For example; “You look great for someone your size or “You’re the only one I know who could pull off those ugly shoes with that dress!” If your friend makes you feel bad most of the time, and you know she’s nearly as nice behind your back as she is to your face (which is not very nice to start with), then she is probably not worth the friendship.
The Scrounger - if you have a friend that is constantly asking for a small loan and does not pay back, conveniently forgets its her turn to buy the next dinner or drinks, borrow stuff and does not return or returns it in a bad state, then he/she is probably a scrounger. There are times when some of us might be broke/out of cash or when we forget our wallet, debit or credit cards, that's when someone who we are out to lunch with or shopping and we consider a good friend will come to the rescue. Those of us that are not bad friends would not take advantage and will always pay back our debts as soon as possible without having to be asked and without excuses. The best way to handle a scrounger is to stop lending money freely to him/her or doing favors like buying lunch if they don't get the hint, then the next step would probably be to cut them off.
The Negative One - Is there that friend that’s always complaining, always sick, always
tired, always sad? Can he/she never see the positive in anything? When he/she calls,
do you automatically feel the need to send him/her to voicemail because you just don’t want to hear
the negativity anymore? Chances are, this friend is a Negative one, and who has
room if their life for more negativity? You can be subtle, by combating her
negativity with the silver lining, but if that doesn’t work, you may have to
tell her to take her gloom and doom somewhere else.
The Bad Influence - She drinks too much, she smokes too much, she sleeps around, she skips
school, she sneaks out, she lies or cheats or steals. These things themselves
don’t make a bad friend, but if she tries to pressure you into doing the same
against your will, she might be a Bad Influence. If you find yourself caving in
to join her wicked little schemes, then you may have to abandon her to her own
devices. If she only gets you into minor, harmless trouble, then she might
actually be fun!
The Opportunist - This person wants whatever you want or have. Be it out of jealousy or spite, this friend cant or may not be happy unless they have or have stolen one of your stuff from you or anyone she admires. For example taking a friends handbag or a friends boyfriend/girlfriend.
The fake - This person smiles in your face, but
when around other people, they make you feel small by continuously putting you
down verbally.
The snob - This person never acknowledges your ethnicity/culture.
This friend considers you something else and thinks it's alright to insult your
heritage using derogatory slang words around you while knowing it offends you.
This friend does not accept you for all that you are.
The friend who ignores you - This type of "friend" is
absolutely infuriating. When you are hanging out with them and other friends of
yours, they are always talking to you and start socializing with your friends.
However, when you are hanging out with them and their friends, they absolutely
ignore you and "forget" to introduce you to their friends. Every time
you try to spark up a conversation he/she ignores you and continues to talk to
their friend. This is a sign of insecurity masquerading as coolness; it's unkind
and unwanted.
The clingy friend - This type of person can't share you with
other people. When they do see you with other people, they're jealous because
they want you all to themselves. And yet, this
clingy behavior has a strange hierarchy that leaves you out when a more important
person is there for them to cling onto––for example, this person likely can't include
you to see a movie with their boyfriend/girlfriend, as that person becomes the
center of their world. And while they spend lots of time with this person, when
their other half is busy, they want you all the time. It's a sure sign that
this person can't bear to be alone and that all you are is a babysitter. Be
very certain that this friend would ditch you for their significant other if
they come around.
Beware the Interloper - This person uses and takes your
ideas/intellectual assets, interferes and intervenes in your contacts, studies,
professional contacts, conversations with others, trying to network and make
friends with anyone you talk to, and generally climbing on you to get to where you're going, not
setting their own path/course. For example if you have a project or great idea in mind to pitch to your boss, they had take your idea and sell it off as their own to your boss to get that promotion.This so-called friend seeks promotion/or has gotten
promoted on the backs of more talented colleagues by manipulating authority and making him- or herself look good at your expense.
For the Opportunist, Fake, Snob, Clingy Friend and the Interloper, the best tip to deal with them would be to confront them as a friend and talk about it, if no lessons have been learnt or any advise taken/understood then it is best to Avoid them or Cut them off as a Friend
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