Ways to turn Strangers into Friends

For a while now, I saw the world as a place where few doors opened for me or so I wondered. At first I just assumed it was my personality as I am quite the introvert, as time went on, I realized I had a bit of struggle with making friends.

I don’t have a lot of friends and in this day and the current state of the world we need to Know people (make friends or might not necessarily be friends, acquaintances per se) and network in order to increase our potential and have more doors opened to us. I realized my fear or worry of not having friends stemmed from my passivity and the fear of actually going out and talking to people. (Some might say insecurity? But I don’t think so)

My few closest friends and family would recommend ways to meet people to me like join a club or go to parties. People always seemed to tell me or recommend where to meet people but they never really showed me or should I say I usually had problems on how to actually create or start a conversation. In addition, I never really liked attending big social events; I am an introvert and tend to be overwhelmed when there are a lot of people around (although sometimes having lots of people could be a good idea). I usually like talking one-on-one.

So I came to a conclusion that I needed to revamp and start doing things to make me a bit more social as I was getting tired of staying on the sidelines. Taking this stance was scary for a naturally shy person like me but I decided it was time to face the fear.

It’s an empowering mindset to be able to create or start conversations with just about anybody. There is also that choice to talk to whom I want to talk to. I started by just chatting randomly to strangers I would meet on a queue, or workers, etc and some opened up to me, some stayed shut and while some had no problems spending most of the conversation talking about themselves. These interactions enabled me to have a basic understanding on how to interact with people, where I understood that on a normal basis Tone and Body Language are more important than saying the right thing.

People are usually friendly and happy to talk to you and we could start making friends/networking by;

First we start by saying the magic word ‘Hello’ or ‘Hi’ – This is usually the first big barrier, and once done could serve as an ice breaker. One has to be willing to put him/her out there to start a conversation. Once the Ice has been broken, you find that people seem more welcoming. It takes some courage to face your fears and go up to an unknown person and start a conversation, However, more people are welcoming than we generally expect. Even though you encounter someone that would not be too pleasant, remember that someone else would be.

Avoid having Expectations -  when you don’t have much expectations, you won’t be disappointed or offended if someone does not respond to you when you try to initiate your conversation, as there is a difference between perceived outcome and what happens in reality. If it turns out that someone responds that’s a positive.

Learn to Tolerate Rejection – If someone rejects you, it is not necessarily about you. It could be about where they are at mentally at that moment, so don’t take it personally. If they missed an opportunity to interact with you, then they probably missed out on something great.

Ignore what strangers think – This is your life and you basically have the right to talk to and interact with whomever you wish to talk to. Although not everyone is open, allow them to be how they are and think how they do without letting it challenge your courage or self.

If you feel the Fear, just go on and do it anyway – One of the best ways to get rid of fear is to do what you are afraid of repeatedly. When you push through the fear it would start to feel more natural. Although the fear may never fully subside/reduce but if you continually battle through it, you would increase in confidence. For example; when you feel terrified of approaching someone or a situation you could remember a moment that made you happy or laugh which would help reduce the fear or ease the tension.

Practice Makes Perfect, they say – If you seem a little awkward or aggressive at first, don’t worry. If your intentions are real, you would come across well each time you try. Making friends or networking with people is just like any other skill where it gets easier with practice.

Try and Make the conversation about them – Bring up topics and talk about their interest, opinions and ideas. Then pay attention and respond to what they share, as one of the best ways to keep someone interested in a conversation is to show an interest in their life. Most people like to talk about themselves. Even if you do not know a lot about a particular subject, keep asking questions in order to understand them.

Try and Make them Laugh – Laughter generally makes the conversation fun and joyful. People enjoy talking with others who make them laugh. So do not take yourself too seriously, just have fun.

Try to discover their core passion – If you notice/see their eyes light up while talking about something, go ahead and ask more questions about that. If you can find a keyword that helps you figure out their interest, try and talk about it. For example, if I asked ‘that cake is beautiful’ and they say ‘I made it’. Then I can go ahead and talk about food, their baking skills, how they developed the skill, etc.

Go out with a Smile on your face – Smiling gives a good first impression. You could practice in the mirror and then smile to the world. You notice that sometimes people relax themselves when you approach them with a smile. When you continue smiling in a conversation, they smile back and possibly open themselves up for a deeper conversation.

Imagine that the person you are about to approach is already your friend – This way it would be easier to treat them that way instead of seeming awkward and when you are comfortable around someone, it is the best way to start a relationship.

Therefore take a chance today and talk to someone New! When you are friendly to someone, they would most likely be friendly to you back. If you don’t get a nice response, don’t give up keep going. The network you make from interacting with people would probably come in handy someday.